OCD and Doubt: A Question to Ask When Intrusive Thoughts Won't Stop
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Here's something brutal about OCD that doesn't get mentioned enough: the confusion.
It's confusion about whether the relationship is actually wrong or if it's just anxiety. Confusion about whether you're fundamentally broken or dealing with an anxiety disorder. Whether that intrusive thought about harm means something about who you are, or if it's just OCD. Whether you need to figure this out right now or if trying to figure it out IS the problem.
This is the doubting disease in action. The more you try to get clarity, the worse the confusion gets.
What Fighting Doubt Actually Looks Like
All of this is trying to solve something that can't be solved: getting certainty before you act. So, what does the cycle of fighting doubt look like in daily life?
It usually manifests as:
Rumination: Replaying conversations, analyzing your feelings, and trying to logic your way to certainty.
Mental Checking: Constantly scanning for "proof" one way or another, good or bad (often called the role of doubt in clinical terms).
Reassurance Seeking: Asking your partner for reassurance, not believing them, then asking again.
Research: Googling symptoms at 2am or reviewing every interaction trying to figure out what's "really" going on.
Waiting: Refusing to move forward until you feel the "right" way.
The problem is that OCD thrives on this. Every time you engage with doubt, you unintentionally end up feeding it. Every time you try to think your way to clarity, you're playing by its rules.
The Alternative: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
So what's the alternative? It isn't arguing with the thoughts, and it isn't ignoring them. It is changing how you relate to them.
Here’s a question you can ask yourself. Try to make it a reflex. The next time you catch yourself ruminating, analyzing, checking, seeking reassurance, or avoiding because you're not "sure enough," pause and ask yourself:
"Is this moving me toward the life I want to live, or away from it?"
Not "Do I feel good right now?"
Not "Am I certain about this?"
Not "What if I'm wrong?"
Just: Is this action moving me toward or away?
This comes straight from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). What it does is shift your focus from trying to control your internal experience (which you can't) to choosing your behavior (which you can).
You don't need to feel good to act in line with what matters to you. You don't need your anxiety to go away before you can live your life. You can’t control the confusion, but knowing your direction points the way out of the fog.
Applying the "Toward vs. Away" Move to Your OCD Themes
Think about what actually matters to you. Maybe it's being present with your partner instead of constantly checking your feelings. Maybe it's spending your energy on things that matter instead of washing your hands again. Maybe it's showing up as the kind of person you want to be, even when your mind is screaming that something's wrong.
Here is how to apply this to common subtypes:
Relationship OCD (ROCD): When you're ruminating about whether your relationship is right, again, ask yourself: is this analysis moving me toward connection or away from it? Because as you already know, three hours of mental review isn't bringing you closer to your partner.
Harm OCD: When you're stuck on a violent thought and whether it means something about who you are, ask: is this rumination moving me toward being the person I want to be? Sitting there trying to prove you're not dangerous isn't the same as actually living your values.
Contamination OCD: When you're checking for contamination for the tenth time today, is that moving you toward the life you want?
When you can't stop analyzing whether that feeling was attraction or arousal? When you're spiraling about whether you're a good person and need to confess something that doesn't need confessing? When you're about to ask for reassurance again?
The answer is usually pretty clear. And that clarity is what gives you something to hold onto when everything else feels murky.
Conclusion: Acting Without Certainty
Here's the brutal truth: You're never going to get the certainty you're looking for. You can't think your way out of OCD. You can't feel your way to the right answer. But you can always ask whether what you're doing right now is moving you toward the life you want or away from it.
Make it automatic. Make it a habit. Because values are directional—they give you a north star when your mind is a storm. And unlike feelings that come and go, unlike certainty that's always out of reach, your values stay stable.
You don't need to feel certain to act. You just need to know your direction and be willing to take a step.
So next time OCD shows up with its usual demands—figure this out, check one more time, get certainty before you do anything—ask yourself: Is this moving me toward or away?
Then act accordingly.
Struggling to take that step alone? You don't have to. Book a consultation to start moving toward the life you want.
About the Author: Kevin Jaworski is a licensed therapist (LPCC) specializing in OCD and anxiety disorders, providing telehealth therapy throughout Ohio—including Columbus, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Akron, Youngstown, Dayton, and Toledo. He uses evidence-based approaches including ERP, I-CBT, and ACT to help clients shift away from obsessive doubt and build tolerance for uncertainty. His practice focuses on clients whose previous therapy didn't address the specific mechanisms keeping OCD and anxiety patterns stuck.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you're experiencing symptoms of OCD, anxiety, or other mental health concerns, please consult with a qualified mental health professional. The information provided here is not a substitute for professional clinical assessment and care. If you're experiencing a mental health emergency, please call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or go to your nearest emergency room.