When Thinking Becomes the Problem
Here’s why insight alone won’t save you—and what actually helps.
Photo by Kier in Sight Archives on Unsplash
You thought being analytical was a strength—and it is, until it goes sideways. And it seems like it’s always going sideways. Maybe you’ve started to see the destructive side: the way your thoughts stick no matter how much sense you try to make of them. You’re trying to think your way out, hoping clarity will bring peace, but the more you analyze, the worse you feel.
Maybe you notice that you’re always “in your head.” Conversations replay. You analyze feelings as if they were urgent problems. You keep trying to find certainty about something—anything—that will finally settle the question. It feels productive, like you’re “processing,” even virtuous. But there’s rarely a lasting conclusion, a clear follow-up action. It’s rumination: a kind of mental compulsion that looks like problem-solving but never leads anywhere.
When clients of mine first recognize this pattern, it’s often a real aha—followed quickly by discouragement. They see how long they’ve been doing it and think it will take the rest of their lives to undo. Ten miles in, ten miles out, right? But it doesn’t have to take very long to obtain relief—once you can call it out, you can step away much faster than you think.
For people with anxiety, depression, or OCD, rumination can be a full-time job. Therapy can even fall into the same trap—two people, both thoughtful and well-intentioned, turning the same idea over and over in search of an insight that never comes. You leave lighter for a day, then the trap door opens again. This is why working with a therapist who can recognize and work with chronic rumination is key.
But even just recognizing rumination is a turning point. Once you see it, you start to feel the difference between reflection and rumination—between thinking and just spinning. From there, the task is simple but not easy: notice the pull, name it, and come back to something in the real world—a value, something in the here-and-now. It’s the next small thing that matters, not something monumental and earth-shaking.
Breaking the cycle isn’t about out-thinking it (that’s the trap). It’s about changing your relationship to the process itself—letting the mind do its chatter while you choose what happens next.
Rumination isn’t who you are. It’s a habit your brain learned under pressure. You can teach it another way, and the path out is shorter than you fear.